When a relationship ends, the feeling of loss can be
overwhelming. The pain of heart break can be devastating. The memories, dreams,
and thoughts, can over take your self-control at times. You cannot turn the
thoughts off no matter how hard you try. This is why it is best to never be
alone during these difficult times. People often make rash decisions in the
moment of heart break (they often will regret later down the road) and need to
have a support chain in place to keep them grounded. This is why there are
support groups; to help people get past a difficult time, possibly the worst
times in their lives.
Support groups…… What qualifies as a support group?
A support group can be a family member, a friend or friends,
online groups, a hot line, or a group of individuals who meet up in person. The three
support systems I use are family, friends, and online groups.
Family: Sometimes we do not want family to know our
struggles. Whether this is because of ego, or a strong sense of independence,
we need family. There is unconditional love associated to family, no matter what
you can and should turn to family for life problems. Granted, not every family
is the same, but usually we have at least one family member we can always run
to.
Friends: We tend to turn to friends over family. A bond
between two friends can be equivalent to a blood tie to a family. Sometimes we
feel as though certain people are a mirrored image of ourselves.
This tightens
the bond between two people creating the label “best friends”. No matter what we
are going through, we can always turn to a friend during a hard time. They will
show up at your home willing to sleep on the couch, bring comfort food, take
you out to show you there still is a world out there. They are willing to do
what it takes to bring our spirits up.
Online Groups: During the past few months I have been
looking at different groups and seeing how the community pulls together,
coaching people through hard times, letting people know there is people out
there who are feeling or have felt the same way. Not all groups are the same
nor do they have the same support. The idea behind an online support group is
the accessibility and the anonymous factor. If you are unable to go to friends
of family, I would recommend finding an online group. Not only are you able to
share your story, you can develop relationships all over the world.
No person should ever feel they are alone in the world.
There is people who have been in your shoes, who may still be in a bad
situation. Reach out…..look for the support you deserve.
I am sure there is other types of support groups out there, but these few are what I actually had seen or had experience with.
During my experience with my divorce, I realized
my love for writing and helping people. I recently starting blogging and really
focusing on learning from my past. I didn’t really have friends to lean on due
mutual friends, but I did have one person in my life that worked at the same
company as I, who had a similar past. They shared their story with me and
helped me out of an abusive relationship. Without his person, I would have
never had the strength to do what was right… LEAVE. Due to me constantly lying
to hide the marks, bruises, and scars, I never went to my family until the day I
officially left. Once I was gone though, I had complete support even though I had
years of lies piled up in my closet. Looking back now, I really don’t understand
why I was so compelled to lie about what I was going through. Was is shame, loss of control, or repeating my
parents mistakes? Possibly… either way, I finally realized… I’m not a prisoner,
there is other people in this world who are just like me.
When you are in a bad relationship or any relationship for that matter, it is equivalent to wearing blinders. You do not see any options in the world to free you from your current circumstances. Surround your self with family, friends and reach out to the community whether it is online or joining a support group. Take off the blinders!!!!
If you are reading this and in need of help or support, please feel
free to contact me.
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